I don’t want to make fun of a relationship coming to an end. These are two human beings—they’re real people. It’s not cool to make fun of something like that. It’s just not. Everyone has a certain moral compass. Some people wouldn’t hesitate to make fun of this situation, some people wouldn’t touch it.
I'm not going to make any jokes... that would be wrong.
Some people would say something like, “I guess Rachel Hunter won’t be staying Forever Young.” But I won’t.
Some people might write something like they are moving from Hockeywood to Splitsville. But that’s not even that’s funny.
I’m sure if you look around, there will be someone that thinks it’s funny that Stoll met the supermodel when he lived in Edmonton, but broke up with her when he moved to L.A. Not here. That’s completely inappropriate.
Since Rachel Hunter is out of the picture, some people might bring attention to the fact that there are younger puck bunnies out there that might be waiting for a newly single NHL player (yes, the Kings are still members of the NHL). Elisha Cuthbert or Hilary Duff are available and about 3 decades younger. But no—I’m not going to go there.
Speaking of Elisha Cuthbert, I’m sure there’s a joke somewhere about Rod Stewart talking to Sean Avery about “sloppy seconds.” But just ask Dion Phaneuf, that’s not really all that nice.
The age thing couldn’t have been easy. From a strictly mathematical perspective, Jarret Stoll and Miley Cyrus would be more appropriate. After all, she’s only 12 years younger than him. Thankfully, I won’t make any jokes about that. I think it speaks for itself.
Instead, I’ll choose to rise above all of those immature jokes and simply express my sadness towards an unsuccessful relationship. I wish nothing but the best for both Rachel Hunter and Jarret Stoll—I truly hope they both are able to find the happiness that they’re searching for.
Maybe Rachel will find it in Australia. Maybe Jarret will find it in Canada. Maybe we’ll finally find out why he missed the end of the season with a groin injury.
Maybe I’m done pretending that I care.
Matt Reitz
Matt Reitz is an NHL Writer for ProHockeyTalk on NBCSports and the Editor-In-Chief here at ViewFromMySeats.com. When he's not shoving a mic in the face of NHLers or explaining why home teams should wear white, he's usually trying to figure out what song to play next on his iPod. It's a never-ending job.
