One positive that has come from the Cooke/Savard and Ovechkin/Campbell incidents is that it’s giving us a comprehensive list of excuses that NHL fans use when their player does something questionable. Next time someone on your team does something stupid and fans from all over North America say your player is dirty, here are a list of excuses that have already been used at your disposal.
Did your favorite player just injure someone with a dangerous play? Don’t worry! We have you covered! Here are some excuses you can use anytime someone on your favorite team makes a questionable—or even dirty play.
- It wasn’t late.
- The guy knew he was there, he turned into it.
- If you make this illegal, then you’re going to take all hitting out of the game.
- That was a completely clean shot to the head.
- It’s not in the rulebook. Who cares if it’s dirty, cheap, and unnecessary?
- That’s hockey. If you don’t like it, go watch another sport.
- If he wasn’t injured, no one would even be talking about this!
- It wasn’t an elbow. He hit him with his shoulder!
He's just aggressive...
- That’s just a good, hard hockey play. 20 years ago people wouldn’t have even thought twice about that kind of play.
- Whatever. You wouldn’t have a problem with it if YOUR team did it. (Which is ironic, because it proves NOTHING)
- Player X wasn’t suspended. So our player shouldn’t be suspended.
- It’s not his fault that he’s so strong that people get hurt when he hits them.
- He plays with an edge. That’s part of his game!
- Gary Bettman sucks. This is all his fault! He’s fucking up the NHL.
- If it was so dirty, then why didn’t get a _________ (fill in the blank with penalty, misconduct, suspension, or death by electrocution depending on which fits the person’s argument)
- This play was totally different than play X. (Which usually is almost identical to outsiders.)
- Who cares if he has prior history? We’re talking about THIS play right now. You’re a moron.
- If he gets suspended, the league is just trying to make an example out of him.
- The only reason anyone is talking about it because it’s Player X.
- He didn’t hit him, he pushed him. There was no intent to injure. You can’t prove it!
- Colin Campbell is an idiot and hates our team.
If you act now, for no extra charge we will give you a Bruce Boudreau excuse—ABSOLUTELY FREE!
- The hit didn’t cause the damage. The boards caused the damage.
I’m not saying that none of these are ever true. I’m just saying these are the tools in the grab bag of recycled excuses for fans that don’t want to see their player get hurt. If the skate was on the other foot, they’d be screaming for a suspension. Take these excuses. Use them. Spread them. Defend them.
What are some of your favorite excuses to use when one of your players delivers a questionable hit and might get suspended?
Matt Reitz
Matt Reitz is an NHL Writer for ProHockeyTalk on NBCSports and the Editor-In-Chief here at ViewFromMySeats.com. When he's not shoving a mic in the face of NHLers or explaining why home teams should wear white, he's usually trying to figure out what song to play next on his iPod. It's a never-ending job.
