In a (not so) shocking new development, View From My Seats has learned that there was an internal memo issued by NBC shortly after their latest agreement with the NHL, simply titled “The Crosby Clause.” Our source within the network contacted us with a simple email, revealing the contents of this memo. Below is an excerpt from the email that was received.
“CC87, as it is known internally, states: “While the NHL has told us we cannot air a Penguins game every Sunday, there is no mention anywhere in the agreement that we cannot mention, show pictures of, hint at, or air footage of Sidney Crosby, even during non-Penguins games. It is highly recommended that every on-air talent work Crosby’s name into the broadcast whenever possible (ex: “That was an amazing save by Jimmy Howard, robbing Mike Richards on the breakaway! You can imagine that’s the type of save Crosby would make if he was a goaltender.”). A minimum of 15 mentions during non-Pens games is required. There is no maximum.”
This makes a lot of sense, given the amount of time and effort that NBC has given to working Crosby’s name and image into their “NHL on NBC” broadcasts every week, regardless of the teams that are playing.
"Say my name, bitch!"
In another (not so) shocking development, this is all untrue. But really, is it that far fetched? No …and that’s the fun part of April Fools’ Day. It’s the one day of the year when we all come together to celebrate… uh…Saint April Fool, the patron saint of gullibility. It’s also the one day of the year when we can all come together to take advantage of anyone who doesn’t own a calendar of any sort.
I asked my fellow View From My Seats bloggers to give me a few “Unexpected Team Headlines” ideas, and the headlines started pouring in quickly. So, gather your family and friends, and pick out the weakest link. Then go through this list of “So Unlikely, They’re Actually Believable” headlines and decide which ones you can torment them with. We did the hard work, you write your own story.
This is what April Hockey Fools’ Day is all about. ..and by all means, feel free to join in the fun in the comments section!
- Anaheim Ducks Realize Mistake, Will Insert ‘Mighty’ Back Into Their Name.
- Rogaine Truck Robbed: Police Quarantine City of Anaheim.
- Don Waddell: ‘We Traded Kovalchuk Because We Got Tired of Teaching Our Fans to Pronounce His Name.’
- Bruins Secretly Install Invisi-Fence Around Crease to Keep Rookie Goalie From Wandering.
- Report: Orr Brought In to Teach Wideman What This ‘Skating Thing’ Is All About.
- Buffalo GM Darcy Regier Reveals Plan to Draft Only Players 6’9″ and Above.
- Flames Prepare For Playoff Push, Bench All Former Leafs.
- Flames Hire Rich, Brian, Shaun and Merrick, Acquire Brandon, Brett, Brody and Luke. Finally Complete Sutter Family Coup.
- Hurricanes GM Jim Rutherford Declares Disaster In Hopes Of Relief Efforts.
- Blackhawks apologize for ‘Limo Incident’, Announce New Opening in Scouting Department.
- New Blackhawks ‘Yellow Cab Designated Driver Program’ A Hit!
- Hawks Sign FA Goalie Tony Esposito For Playoff Run.
- Colorado Players Realizes ‘Avalanche’ is Just a Nickname, Try to Stop Freefall.
- Columbus Marketing Department Making Push to Officially Shorten Team Name to BJ’s.
- Tom Hicks Markets Team For Potential Buyers, Hires Avery As Media Consultant.
- In Slumping Economy, Red Wings Fans Throwing Resumes on Ice Instead of Octopi.
- Red Wings Fans Go 60 Full Minutes Without Inventing Conspiracy Theory.
- After Coyotes Success, Oilers Begin Rumors of Relocating to Hamilton.
- Above Average Temperatures in Edmonton Lead Oilers to Forfeit Games; Tee Times Moved Up.
Oompa Loopa Loopity Do
- Panthers Announce New Pea Green 3rd Jersey For 2010-11. No Reason Given.
- Kings Coach Terry Murray to Meet With Anthony Robbins for Personality Lessons.
- L.A. Kings Welcome Conan O’Brien to Their Broadcast Team.
- Wild Purchase Billboard on I-94: ‘Got Anyone Else You’re Finished With, Chicago?’
- Habs Look to Increase Average Team Height, Inquire About Martin St. Louis.
- Jack Daniel’s to Buy Predators, Will Require All Players to Wear No. 7.
- Devils Invoke Rare ‘Return to Sender’ Clause, Send Kovalchuk Packing.
- New Jersey Announces New ‘Throwback’ Night; Colorado Rockies Name Confuses Baseball Fans.
- Islanders Break 6,000 Fans for Weeknight Game; Kate Murray Complains About Traffic.
- Rangers GM Glen Sather Declares ‘It’s A Successful Season’ As Gaborik Scores His 40th.
- Senators Hire Down Goes Brown for New Media Campaign: ‘At least Spezza Didn’t Cost 2 Firsts and a Second.’
- Flyers’ Carcillo: ’I'm Afraid a Playoff Beard Will Make Me Look Ridiculous.’
- Philadelphia Pieces Together New Goalie; Introduce G Emleighbouhutlund.
- Canadian Media Unable to Write Headlines as Coyotes Clinch Playoff Berth.
- Matt Cooke Vows to Change His Game, Undergoes Elbow Removal Surgery.
- NHL Announces “Battle of New York.” Winner: Anyone Who Didn’t Watch.
- Crosby Cries, Lemieux Changes Locks.
- Sharks Petitioning League for First Round Bye.
- As Golf Season Approaches, Blues Defensemen Banned From All Contact With Golf Carts.
- Tampa Bay Continues Efforts to Prove Lightning Never Strikes Twice.
- Leafs Announce Later Start Time For 2010 Draft Viewing Party.
- Toronto Maple Leafs Eye Playoff Push From Flames Bench.
- ABC’s Remake of ‘V’ Reveals True Identity of Vancouver’s Sedin Twins.
- Vancouver Community Food Banks Emptied Upon Canucks Return From Road Trip, Wellwood Questioned.
- ‘Nucks GM Mike Gillis: ‘All of Our Available Funds Will Be Put Into Finding A Third Sedin.’
And finally, the headline that you all know and love, and perfect for parties…
- Ovechkin Laich’s Semin!
