After checking out Eric McErlain’s Off Wing Opinion, I was reminded that there are a ton of ways to bet on the Conference Finals. Who do you think is going to win? How many games will it take? How many goals will Captain Serious score? The options are endless.
Just like the Super Bowl, this looks like the perfect time to break out some proposition bets for the true gambling degenerates out there (mind you, this coming from a guy who’s been doing March Madness pools since he was 7). We might not have any bets that mention the 20/1 odds that Patrick Kane takes a taxi in San Jose, but we have a few that are almost as good…
San Jose Sharks vs. Chicago Blackhawks
Will he smile? Ever?
Odds of Antti Niemi being elected Mayor of Chicago: 5/2
Chances of Jonathan Toews smiling: 100/1
Odds that Blackhawks fans miss Cam Barker: 100000000/1
Odds Dany Heatley asks for a trade in the middle of the series: 2/1
Odds that a woman throws her panties on the ice at Patrick Sharp: 10/1
Over/Under
Times “journalists” mention the Sharks history of choking: 827303.2
Average number of times Edzo & McGuire say “Active Stick” per game: 17
Number of goals Dan Boyle scores (into the Hawks net): 3
Number of goals Dan Boyle scores (into the Sharks net): 3
Brain farts by Evgeni Nabokov: 10
Number of times Rob Blake covers the front of the net: .5
Antti Niemi’s NoNo to OhNo ratio: 10 to 1
Number of times Penguins and Red Wings fans bring up Marian Hossa in a derogatory manner: 81
Number of times I will mention my mancrush on Duncan Keith: Not Taking Bets
Number of Sharks fans that actually make it inside the United Center: 1.5
Philadelphia Flyers vs Montreal Canadiens
Odds of Daniel Briere getting “knocked the fuck out” after his lame goal celebration: 3/1
Odds of Maxim Lapierre diving: 3/5
Daniel Briere.
Number of death threats directed at Ryan Parent (by his own fans): 77
Odds that someone confuses Scott Hartnell with Sideshow Bob: 3/1
Odds that someone confuses Daniel Briere with the chick from Reality Bites: 1/3
Over/Under
Automobiles owned by Quebec journalists that are vandalized at Wachovia Center: 2 (hell, we’re already at 1)
Police cars burned if the Canadiens win the series: 10
Police cars burned if the Canadiens lose the series: 10
Number of goals Michael Cammalleri scores in the series: 32
Number of goals Michael Leighton gives up in the series: .5
Number of goaltenders used by the Flyers in the series: 10
Minutes Carey Price has to actually participate in the series: 30
Number of actual hairs in Daniel Carcillo’s mustache: 8
Relevance of Pronger Physics: .02%
Number of stabbing incidents at Wachovia: 4
Matt Reitz is the Editor-In-Chief here at ViewFromMySeats.com and former NHL Writer for ProHockeyTalk on NBCSports. When he’s not shoving a mic in the face of NHLers or explaining why home teams should wear white, he’s usually trying to figure out what song to play next on his iPod. It’s a never-ending job.
