A year ago, the hockey world had its fair share of small stories to help satisfy the fix between July 1st and the 1st day of training camp. Dany Heatley decided to piss off the entire city of Ottawa, Dale Tallon didn’t know how to use a fax machine, and Patrick Kane decided to get into a cab with his cousin. But this season, unless you have a law degree and get off on analyzing Collective Bargaining Agreements, it’s been dull month.
In the interest of helping the NHL keep the spotlight on hockey for all 12 months of the year, here are a few suggestions that should help bridge the gap between the Blackhawks Cup and a September’s training camps.
- The NHL Network could broadcast their own reality TV show. Think Blackhawks, Survivor, and the parting gifts would be one-way tickets to Atlanta.
- Eklund vs. NHLSourcesSay. First to get something right gets to stay for the 2010-11 season.
- The league could just give up and let Ilya Kovalchuk sign with the Devils. This holds interest for one and only one reason: Other free agents can actually be signed again.
- Dozen(s) of fans in Ottawa could be entertained by another Save Spezza rally.
- Derek Boogaard should cash his entire contract in dollar bills, then go to the NHL Store in NYC and make it rain.
Makin' it rain... but different.
- Kurten Bloggers could get a VW Bug and see just how many Canuck defensemen they could fit into one car.
- Rec league try-outs to see who could be the next goaltender for the Philadelphia Flyers.
- Lou Lamoriello holds a press conference to announce the Devils will trade Zach Parise to the highest bidder. Only later do we find that throughout the entire press conference they knew they were never going to go through with it.
- Tomas Kaberle could actually be traded.
- A 60-minute Russian documentary on the Travel Channel highlighting all of the places Antti Niemi might play next season.
- Cage match: Willa Ford vs. any female Stars fan.
- Cage match: Willa Ford vs. any male Stars fan.
- Charles Wang could try to build an arena.
- Erik Johnson could go golfing. Or more accurately, go golf-karting.
- Bruins fans could be productive for the two month off-season by giving Florida Panthers fans one thing to expect from Dennis Wideman each and every day until the season starts.
- Chris Chelios could start emailing the NHLPA offices.
- Darryl Sutter could actually face Flames fans—preferably in a place with plenty of law enforcement.
- Mike Milbury could be hired. By anyone.
- Sami Salo could get inju—nevermind, that’s not news anymore.
- The Canadiens could actually put PK Subban and Louis LeBlanc on a scale to see just how much those expectations weigh.
Matt Reitz is the Editor-In-Chief here at ViewFromMySeats.com and former NHL Writer for ProHockeyTalk on NBCSports. When he’s not shoving a mic in the face of NHLers or explaining why home teams should wear white, he’s usually trying to figure out what song to play next on his iPod. It’s a never-ending job.
