When View From My Seats gained access last week to the secret wishlist players, coaches, agents, and evil devil spawns – Bettman, Campbell, et al – had provided the league with for Christmas, we didn’t realize just what we’d stumbled into. Mixed in with files about mysterious memos and a video of Brett Hull eating pizza at a strip club buffet – it shocked us, too – there was a small Word file compiling another list: New Year’s Resolutions.
These dedications, provided by many of the same people who sent in Christmas lists, will likely be as easy to keep as the ones we make yearly to eat healthier, get into shape, and visit Europe. But don’t take our word for it, have a look for yourselves.
Bruce Boudreau: I resolve to stop channeling my inner-Rex for the HBO cameras. Even if the cameras will be gone after New Year’s.
Sidney Crosby: I resolve to stop making everyone else look like an amateur. I also resolve to shave.
Patrick Kane: Hey, I never got my 20 cents back from that cabbie back home. Yeah, I’m gonna get it back.
Gary Bettman: I resolve to have Versus broadcast to all households, so everyone has the choice to ignore their hockey broadcasts.
Rick Dudley: I will get more Blackhawks in Atlanta.
Tim Connolly: I resolve to find an even more creative way to get injured once I recover from facial reconstructive surgery.
Dan Carcillo: I resolve to paint the windows of my white van black.
Paul Bissonnette: I resolve to have more ice time than the Ice Girls.
Colin Campbell: I vow to [expletive] figure out this damned Blackberry. Oh, and e-mail, too. And CD players. And Tickle-Me Elmo.
Marian Hossa: I need to stop getting injured.
Joe Thornton: I resolve to stop planning my golf outings in early May so I don’t need to tank in the postseason to keep my plans.
Anze Kopitar: I’m gonna stop wearing the LaDainian Tomlinson smoke-colored half-shield. But only because it creeps my teammates out.
John Scott: I resolve to find something better to do when playing on home ice. I’m tired of making our beautiful Ice Girls clean up the blood.
Mike Weber: I resolve to lead the Sabres in scoring with Derek Roy out of the lineup.
Sedin Twins: We resolve to not play keep away from everyone else on the ice all the time.
Darcy Regier: I resolve to finally call another general manager back. The messages keep piling up.
Dustin Byfuglien: I resolve to score 50 goals as a defenseman this year.
Evgeni Malkin: I vow to end Ovechkin’s career so I be best Russian in league.